Women + Tattoos = Empowerment
2012 marked the first year that more women than men were tattooed in this country.
That’s right: 23% of women compared with 19% of men are now tattooed in the U.S.
You’re welcome, founding fathers.
Juke Joint Jezebel
Putin’s Homosexual Propaganda
Russia recently passed a law classifying “homosexual propaganda” as pornography. This law, which is inscrutably vague, outlaws “propaganda on nontraditional sexual relationships.” Most interestingly, Putin signed this ban into law with no apparent sense of irony.
Now That I Have Completed My Mandatory Online Sexual Harassment Training …
Now that I have completed my mandatory online sexual harassment training, I’m going to print out my certificate of completion and rub your body down with it.
That’s right. This training got me thinking about you, girl, and all the ways I’d like to sex you down.
A Brief Letter to Fans of Sean Hannity/ Mark Levin/ Rush Limbaugh/ Glenn Beck/ Alex Jones/ Talking Hermaphroditic Hamsters
I recently awoke from a methadone and absinthe-fueled stupor while lying on the living room floor of a complete stranger. Nearby a television had been set to FoxNews, and mashed onto my ears was a pair of puffy 1980s-style headphones plugged in to a Sony Walkman tuned to the local AM conservative talk station.
The Trouble with Twilight: Vampirism Doesn’t Excuse Statutory Rape
First off, if you’re an adult and a fan of the Twilight books, now would be a good time to stop reading this and take an inventory of your life in the interest of divining just where you went wrong and at what point you chose to throw in your lot with intellectually challenged teenage girls who may or may not wear a lot of black makeup and harbor either an open or secret appreciation for Justin Bieber’s “musical genius.”
Chris Brown + Rihanna = Role Model
This has been a great year so far, not the least because Chris Brown and Rihanna are back on speaking terms. The two have even gone so far as to retweet each other’s messages, which we all know is only half a step away from fucking in public. It’s good to see them finally moving past the ugliness of the 2009 Grammy’s night, and by “ugliness” I don’t refer to pussy rock’s perennial all-star Coldplay’s grammy for best rock album.