Whole Foods

It’s 95 degrees outside and the overweight woman working at the checkout counter has to keep pausing to walk over to the counter with plastic silverware for in-store diners to grab some napkins to wipe her brow.

She’s also wearing too much makeup, and her eyebrows appear to be drawn in.

A week ago at this Whole Foods, I saw the woman from Trader Joe’s who was arguing with the man in line ahead of her, saying that he’d cut in front of her. At Whole Foods, she was arguing with the cashier and the shift supervisor, claiming that she’s never had to pay extra for paper bags for her groceries.

I would like to interview her. She’s very tall, and she looks like the African American version of Norma Desmond from Sunset Boulevard.

If not for the meatless meatballs at Whole Foods, I don’t think I would ever bother coming here. It’s much too expensive, and there’s a pervasive, collective air of pretension amongst both the staff and the shoppers.

Apparently, one must have at least one visible tattoo in order to work here.

Or an aggressive piercing.

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