Tag Archives: dating


I went out on a date with a girl who proceeded to tell me that she and her friends drink nothing less than $100 bottles of wine. Her friend is looking to sell off his collection of $50 bottles of wine.

They both work for Google.

I told her I wasn’t hungry and didn’t want to order dinner, so we just ate the free bread. She chewed with her mouth open.

On another date the following week, the girl said that she enjoys knitting. She didn’t call me back.

I’m wondering if my online dating profile should include a photoshopped picture of me either at Machu Picchu or petting a sedated lion. A successful dating life appears to require one or both of these.

Before We Begin Dating, There Are a Few Things You Should Know About Me

I am looking very forward to this, our first date. I’ve made reservations at the Olive Garden, and I think you will be pleasantly surprised to find that I actually match the image from my Match.com profile! I know so many guys tend to post pictures from 10 years and 35 pounds ago, but rest assured, I still look exactly as I did in this, my most recent photograph.

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