Today I compromised my productivity at work by slamming a pot of Folgers coffee and Googling 80s music videos, and I have compiled the following list of the top ten greatest 80s music videos in terms of either their awesomeness or how well they represent that formative decade in my life known as the 80s.
And yes, it was a shitty decade, which explains my all-consuming misanthropy.
Let’s Start a Twitter War, You and I.
Yeah, I’m talking to you, motherfucker. You look like just the kind of pussified millennial I’d like to take to task on Twitter.
BannedCast was trending on Reddit.com today with the below image. Here’s the original, plus a screenshot to show that we’re not fabricating this meager success. You can also see the original plus comments here: http://redd.it/1ck0em
We have so few things to be proud of, after all …
This is pretty much all I ever do at work anymore …
I recently contracted an intense case of food poisoning from a package of Starkist Low-Sodium Chunk Light Tuna purchased at your store.
Dear Domino’s Pizza,
I have had a strained relationship with your company ever since you inexplicably parted ways with the Noid, perhaps the greatest Dadaist marketing campaign ever devised by an LSD-induced vision of pizza freshness.
1. Geologists are assholes.
2. If you’re going to travel half a billion miles to certain death, it may just be worth it if it means getting to sleep with Charlize Theron just once.