Let’s Start a Twitter War, You and I

Let’s Start a Twitter War, You and I.

Yeah, I’m talking to you, motherfucker. You look like just the kind of pussified millennial I’d like to take to task on Twitter.

That’s a cleverly ironic Twitter handle you have there, @iPadophile. Too bad your opinions, likes, and dislikes run contrary to mine.

I simply can’t allow your tweets with regard to the recent episode of Game of Thrones or your 120 character commentary on the moral constitution of Real Housewives of Beverley Hills star Adrienne Maloof stand uncontested.

Sure, I know that these are some wildly disparate interests, my love for scripted HBO fantasy dramas and my passion for BRAVO reality TV, but I won’t have my TV interests maligned by someone who clearly doesn’t understand the complicated nuances of dragon fighting and the hazards of negotiating Beverley Hills’ elite social circles.

No, I’m afraid we must have an all-out war and air our grievances in an online social forum. You see, it’s my duty to call you out for these kinds of offenses—you might even call it a patriotic duty. That’s what makes this country so great. Our soldiers have died in combat protecting my right to tell you that your opinion of Kanye West is also fucking stupid.

So it’s come to this, it’s time for war. I hope you’re ready.



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