Grooming

I have one very long, very gray, very errant eyebrow hair.
I’m convinced that somewhere, someone has posted a video of me picking my nose in my car.
I regard my toenails like estranged, illegitimate children. I have no emotional connection to them, and they can get very obtrusive and unruly.
I’m very concerned about being found dead in the bathtub after slipping as I struggle to see myself in the bathroom mirror while trying to shave my back.