Grooming

I have one very long, very gray, very errant eyebrow hair.

I’m convinced that somewhere, someone has posted a video of me picking my nose in my car. 

I regard my toenails like estranged, illegitimate children. I have no emotional connection to them, and they can get very obtrusive and unruly.  

I’m very concerned about being found dead in the bathtub after slipping as I struggle to see myself in the bathroom mirror while trying to shave my back.

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