Why I Believe Jodi Arias is Innocent
Jodi Arias is innocent, and I believe that she was railroaded by a corrupt justice system and convicted under false pretenses.
Because Jodi is a beautiful, innocent, beautiful young woman with no history of violence or malice toward anyone. It is therefore unthinkable that she could have committed the acts for which she has been (wrongly) accused and (unjustly) convicted.
What the media and the countless Jodi Arias “Hater-Hags”—as I like to refer to the many millions of postmenopausal women jealous of Jodi’s attractiveness and superior acumen—have neglected to recognize is the fact that Jodi Arias is not only not guilty of premeditated murder, she is also innocent of all charges against her.
This is because there is ample evidence to suggest that Jodi did not kill Travis and is instead the victim of an elaborate, premeditated hoax. Because while Jodi may have only slightly injured Travis in self defense, as she has claimed in numerous testimonies, it is evident that Travis later retaliated by killing himself in such a way as to make it appear as though Jodi had killed him.
And for all those who will staunchly claim that there is no way for a man to first shoot himself in the face, then stab himself 27 times and lastly slit his own throat with the seeming intention of cutting off his own head, I say: you poor, naïve fool.
Stranger things have happened, and when one looks at the evidence, it becomes more and more apparent that Jodi was in fact framed for the murder of Travis Alexander in the same way that OJ Simpson was framed for the murder of Nicole Brown Simpson and Ronald Goldman, who clearly also killed themselves in order to ruin OJ’s budding acting career.
There is a long history of this sort of misrepresented suicide, and the earliest historical example appears in Sir Arthur Conan Doyle’s account of Sherlock Holmes and the mystery of Thor Bridge. In this historical account (because Sherlock Holmes was real, look it up), Holmes is able to save a beautiful woman from being hanged for the murder of her lover’s then wife.
It was this jealous wife who killed herself in a most ingenious way so as to make it look like the other woman had done it. The story explains the dead woman’s actions by saying that she was South American and therefore inherently crazy. Well, I don’t know anything about that, but I do know that this whole suicide-mistaken-as-murder thing really took off in this country with the death of John F. Kennedy, who also killed himself by shooting himself twice in the head in front of his own wife and an audience of adoring fans. What kind of fucked-up shit is that?
What we can say for sure is that Travis is evidently a vindictive man who took advantage of Ms. Arias’s beneficent disposition in order to ruin her life, and he was willing to take his own life in order to do it. That is why I am coming to Jodi’s defense and offering to be that warm shoulder for her to lean on, the rippling pectoral for her to cry on, and that formidable, throbbing manhood for her to ravish in raptures of penitential ecstasy as we meld into one magnificent union of carnal transcendence.
This beautiful young woman deserves fair treatment under the law—fair treatment which she has yet to receive. And I will not rest until she is free, or until I can fuck her in prison.