Tag Archives: Yanni


When I have a terrible song in my head, I become self-conscious that people around me know what it is and are quietly judging me for it.

Milli Vanilli’s “Blame It on the Rain” has a terrible message for children and may be responsible for millennials’ refusal to accept responsibility for their actions.

Mariachi bands are the Mexican restaurant equivalent of the Chuck E. Cheese Rock-afire Explosion animatronic house band.

Sound systems in Reno, Nevada, should never play anything other than Train, Barenaked Ladies, and Creed because as a city, it doesn’t deserve anything better.

If I were a serial killer, I’d play nothing but Yanni and Enya while torturing my victims, just to make it that much worse. 

The Gym

At the gym, playing “what’s that smell?”

It would be really creepy if I listened to Yanni at the gym.

Upon further investigation, I’ve determined that that smell is me.

Would it be creepier to listen to Dionne Warwick at the gym?

Gave blood today and still came to the gym because I don’t need platelets to have a good time.

I’ve decided that it’s creepiest to listen to Yanni while working out and Dionne Warwick while killing people in my basement if I were a serial killer.