Tag Archives: Time travel

I’m Pretty Sure That If I Shaved Off My Eyebrows and Wore a Black Leather Trench Coat, People Would Think That I’m from the Future

I’m pretty sure that if I shaved off my eyebrows and wore a black leather trench coat, people would think that I’m from the future.

I base this assertion on the fact that the last time I shaved my eyebrows and walked around downtown in a leopard-print leotard, people assumed that I was a newcomer to their town. Furthermore, everyone made damn sure to get out of my way.

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I Am Presently in Hour 3 of My 5 Hour Energy

I am presently in hour 3 of my 5 Hour Energy, which means that I am hard at work on a new method of reading people’s minds by staring intently into their left ear canal. This is a tricky business that requires much concentration and a proximity to your subject that has made many people sitting next to me on the bus very uncomfortable.

Because when I drop a dose of 5 Hour Energy, it is game-fucking-on, my friend.

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