Tag Archives: Donald Trump

The Olympics, Donald Trump, & My Self Esteem

It’s time again for the winter Olympics, that special occasion every four years when the world comes together to pretend like they care about figure skating, bobsledding, and cross-country skiing. The winter Olympics are as if a Mumford and Sons album were televised as a sporting event, it’s just that boring, although special exception should be made for luge and ski jumping accidents, which are the Olympic equivalent of NASCAR crashes.
Read more

Forget Religious Tests —
How About Science Tests Instead?

In light of recent autocratic orders issued from our (with all due respect) doughy, midget-fingered troglodyte of a 45th president for whom the rhetorical complexity of a season of Here Comes Honey Boo Boo represents an intellectual bridge too far, I thought I would take this opportunity to suggest that in the interest of “our country’s continued safety and security” we implement not religious tests for incoming migrants but science tests instead.
Read more

Donald Trump is America’s Fault

In the opening to his cover of Patti Smith’s “Rock n’ Roll Nigger,” Marilyn Manson screams “I was made in America, and America hates me for what I am. I am your shit, you should be ashamed of what you have eaten.” At the risk of comparing a doughy windbag ass-clown to an iconic rock n’ roll star, truer words might not be spoken of Donald Trump and his presidential campaign which, while stoking the ire of a vast bipartisan contingent of the American public, has also inspired a groundswell of fanatical support from some of the darker recesses of the American landscape most often regarded during flyovers between New York and Los Angeles.
Read more

Burning Man, “Burners,” and BannedCast

It’s that time of year again: Burning Man.

For those of you who may not be familiar with the concept, allow me to explain that this is that special time of year when today’s newest breed of pretentious hipster ravers flock to the Black Rock City Nevada desert to celebrate all things craft beer, EDM, and anti-establishment platitudes while engorged on copious amounts of designer drugs that allow for meaningless and altogether joyless sex with multiple unwashed and relatively unconscious partners.
Read more