I Did Not Appreciate the Tone with which You Said “Bless You” Earlier Today

When you said “bless you” to me earlier today in the break room after I sneezed into the microwave, I felt that this did not convey a sufficiently genuine concern for my health. Your delivery was devoid of affect and was reflective of a dissociative reflex rather than a true imploration unto my future wellbeing, and in light of this lackluster blessing, I feel that your cock-faced, dickhead sentiments would have been better left unsaid.