Subway President of Marketing Regrets Saying There’s No Such Thing As Bad Publicity

Responding to a reporter’s question regarding statements made in 2005 in which Subway President of marketing is quoted as saying, “There’s no such thing as bad publicity,” on Wednesday Subway’s President said, “I can firmly say that I regret those remarks.”

Speaking to a reporter outside of Subway’s corporate offices in Milford, Connecticut, he explained further, “At the time, I truly believed those words. In retrospect, however, I should have qualified that statement.”

When asked how, with the benefit of hindsight, he would have qualified those earlier statements, Subway’s President said, a little defeatedly, “Well, in retrospect I should have said ‘There’s no such thing as bad publicity, unless your everyman company spokesman is arrested and charged with distributing child pornography and soliciting and thereafter committing sex acts with a minor.’ Perhaps that might have clarified things.”

The statements Wednesday were an apparent reference to longtime Subway spokesman Jared Fogle, who shot to fame after appearing in commercials for having shed excess pounds by eating nothing but Subway sandwiches. Mr. Fogle this week pled guilty to one count of distribution and receipt of child porn and one count of travel to engage in illicit sexual conduct with a minor.

In a surprise move by the company, which stunned many in the industry, Subway severed all affiliation with Fogle.

“Personally, I think this will all blow over soon enough and people will want to see Jared back as Subway’s spokesman. Jared practically is Subway,” a leading marketing consultant said on Tuesday. “Those commercials are just too iconic to let them slip away in light of this recent controversy.”

It remains to be seen what impact Fogle’s tribulations will have on Subway sales, and in a statement late Wednesday, Jell-O said that it would welcome consumers turned off by Fogle’s depravity.

Referring to longtime spokesman Bill Cosby, Jell-O released a statement saying, “Bill only drugged and sexually assaulted women who were mostly of legal age, which still makes us a better alternative than communion wafers at Catholic mass.”

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