This Dick Pic is the Truest Testament of My Undying Love for You
On this, the 12 ½-hour anniversary of our connecting via OkCupid, I wanted to do something special that would attest to the sincerity of my truest feelings for you and demonstrate that I am just the kind of man for which you have been scouring the internet.
That is why I have sent you these several tasteful pictures of my dick.
I am not at all deterred by the fact that we have yet to meet in person, nor am I dissuaded by the fact that you have ignored my seven previous messages that I have sent to you over that last 15 minutes—I can only presume that you are simply struggling to properly articulate your own love for me and the overwhelming emotions that have undoubtedly consumed you over the last several hours of our correspondence.
It is clear that divine intervention has brought us together in the same way that Romeo and Juliet were once brought together beneath a moonlit Verona sky, except that Romeo didn’t have the wherewithal or technical capability to send Juliet a picture of his dick. Perhaps he gave her a sketch, I’m not sure, but I am sure that if he could have, he undoubtedly would have used his Samsung Galaxy S4 to take a picture of his dick in the same way that I have just done for you.
And I just want to say, if I could, that I struggled to get the lighting exactly right, desperate as I was to make this the most tasteful dick pic for you, and so if by chance you discern any disappointing lack of girth in this photograph of my dick, just know that it was the angle and the lighting, okay?
I mean, I put a filter on it, too, because yeah, there may be a few blemishes on there, but don’t get all pious and sanctimonious on me. 70% of sexually active adults have some form of genital warts, so don’t start posturing like some virginal princess just because I happen to share a condition with most sexually active adults in this great country of ours.
In sum, please enjoy these sentimental pics of my dick, and please do not hesitate to respond with some pics of your tits. I promise not to share them with my roommate.