Dear 17th Century Elizabethan Guy

Dear 17th century Elizabethan guy,

Bath salts have been in the news quite a bit recently, in part due to the strange cravings that people using this substance seem to exhibit. I was wondering what other conditions might induce unusual cravings in people when it occurred to me that perhaps bath salts produce the same peculiar cravings common among pregnant women.

april2012mugs084This would mean that pregnant chicks are a lot more like cannibals than previously thought. I mentioned this to a fat chick in the elevator the other day, and she was offended. She gave me no other choice but to punch her in the face. I don’t know why some people have to be so goddamned uptight.

Sincerely,

Jonathan
 
 
 

 

Dear Jonathan,

What in God’s holy name is an elevator?

Sincerely Yours,

17th Century Elizabethan guy

I am from the 17th Century, and you're not.

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