I Drive Much Better After Slamming A Fifth Of Jack Daniels
Look, it’s just a simple fact: I drive much better after slamming a fifth of Jack Daniels.
No, I’m not superman—I just have a very high tolerance for alcohol that will undoubtedly impress all of you lightweight pussies who like to call it quits after finishing a mere 13 ½ beers and half a bottle of Smirnoff. I’m not trying to say that you all are limp-dicked ass-eaters or anything, it’s just that I am still perfectly capable of operating a motor vehicle after polishing off a fifth of Jack as part of my at-home, pre-game Friday night regimen.