I Would Like to Sell You Some Chloe and Isabel Jewelry

Do you not care what people think about you? Then Chloe and Isabel jewelry is just for you! Because if you want to feel, and I mean really feel beautiful while everyone else looks at you like an adolescent tramp with an abusive stepfather, then you really must buy some of my Chloe and Isabel jewelry.

Chloe and Isabel is “devoted to empowering the next generation of entrepreneurs through social retail,” by which we mean empowering women too stupid to know a pyramid scheme when they see it.

And you may not know this, but some very powerful women leaders got their start selling jewelry out of their one-bedroom apartments.

Sheryl Sandberg? No. Hillary Clinton? Not so much. Mama June, Honey Boo Boo’s mom? She’s still a Chloe and Isabel retailer!

And Chloe and Isabel merchandisers come from a variety of professions. From prison guards to WalMart greeters, from bus drivers to street walkers, from Safeway baggers to K-12 teachers, Chloe and Isabel is leading the way for female empowerment through a one-of-a-kind pyramid scheme.

So if you support women’s empowerment through the sale of jewelry made by child laborers in third-world nations, then visit Chloe and Isabel today and buy some jewelry! Tell them Beth sent you!

Yours,

Chloe and Isabel

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