My Online Sexual Relationship with Anthony Weiner

I recently maintained an online sexual relationship with mayoral candidate Anthony Weiner, beginning late last year and ending just this past week in the midst of all of this present kerfuffle.

First of all, I have been and continue to be a full-fledged supporter of Anthony Weiner. I believe that he possesses the requisite honesty and integrity to lead not just the city of New York but the entire nation as well, and I hope that one day I might be able to chat with him from the oval office during one of his frequent escapes from the pressures of office for a little internet sexting session.

To that end, let me tell you a little about how Anthony and I met.

Last year, as I was Facebooking under my alter-ego, Natasha DD-licious, I happened to leave a message of support on Anthony Weiner’s Facebook page. To my utter shock and amazement, the next day I saw a message in my inbox from Mr. Anthony Weiner himself!

Well, I can tell you that being a young, naive small-town girl, this first-ever brush with celebrity had my heart all aflutter, and I felt just like a giddy schoolgirl as I read Mr. Weiner’s polite thank-you message to my post!

This first correspondence was strictly professional, of course, and I could hardly believe it when he ended his letter by asking if I would like to continue our conversation on MySpace, where he was more at liberty to speak his mind and really get to know his supporters more intimately.

Perhaps my youth and naivete combined to make me susceptible to the advances of older men, but I followed Mr. Weiner to MySpace where, using real-time chats and the screen name Jack Meahoffer, Anthony told me about his hopes and dreams and desires. Soon our relationship blossomed into one of great passion and uninhibited sexual transcendence, as Anthony would masturbate to airbrushed screen shots of me, like the one you see to the right. AK

I will be the first to admit that I erred by getting involved with a married man, and I never intended to damage the relationship between Anthony and his adoring wife Huma.

For me, this has been a rollercoaster of emotions, and I only wish I had been more prudent with my disclosures. For example, I readily admit yet am wholly ashamed of my having asked Anthony to sign his name in semen across my chest, as well as my having told him that I would like him to motorboat me while I jerked him off into a shot glass I stole from Ruby Tuesdays.

As a devout born-again Christian, I wish that I had not consented to indulge Anthony’s request to dress up as the Easter bunny and pour hot candle wax over his nipples while blasting Foreigner’s “Waiting for a Girl Like You” from a late 90’s Panasonic cassette player. I also regret having added that I would only comply if I could also wear nipple clamps and strap a black dildo around said Easter bunny’s waist.

But I don’t see how any of this should adversely impact Anthony Weiner’s mayoral prospects, nor do I consider this as having any bearing upon his marriage. These were merely momentary improprieties by two consenting adults who simply prefer to indulge their prurient sexual impulses via instant messaging, complimented with the occasional sexually explicit photograph of their genitals. Is there anything so peculiar about that?

Furthermore, is there anything so damning about a politician, one who frequently invokes the will of the people and our nation’s constitutional principles, describing in explicit detail his desire to paint an anonymous internet correspondence’s tits with his semen? Is there anything so egregious about a leader of the people’s wish to enjoy a deviant act of coitus with a stranger while wearing a stained and potentially moth-ridden holiday costume?

Of course not!

This is especially true even if said politician once resigned from congress as a result of these exposures and thereafter continued this behavior immediately following his reconciliation with his distraught wife and the birth of his first child. These are, as I’ve said, completely irrelevant issues that have no bearing upon Anthony’s sound ethical and moral character.

Yours,

Anthony Weiner

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