2012 marked the first year that more women than men were tattooed in this country.
That’s right: 23% of women compared with 19% of men are now tattooed in the U.S.
You’re welcome, founding fathers.
And really, what better way to celebrate the 50th anniversary of the modern feminist movement and the 50th anniversary of the publication of Betty Friedan’s The Feminine Mystique than with the rampant proliferation of tramp stamps on the lower backs of aging cocktail waitresses? Because apparently plenty of women other than diabetic Slipknot fans are now flocking to tattoo parlors in order to tell the world that they had an abusive stepfather and aren’t too particular about whom they’ll go to bed with.
I am presently in hour 3 of my 5 Hour Energy, which means that I am presently hard at work on a new method of reading people’s minds by staring intently into their left ear canal. This is a tricky business that requires much concentration and a proximity to your subject that has made many people sitting next to me on the bus very uncomfortable.
Because when I drop a dose of 5 Hour Energy, it is game-fucking-on, my friend.
This shit is positively wicked, and it often allows me to see into the future with alarming clarity, which is why I began shouting at the people on the bus to protect themselves and their families from the imminent alien invasion that will begin late next year and end only after sufficient numbers of human specimens of childbearing age have been harvested for use in unregulated intra-galactic space bordellos frequented by sexually rapacious life forms with a penchant for violent, unprotected anal intercourse.
Today’s topics: beef jerky, monkeys at the zoo, and missing children. As per usual, some of our topics were suggested by questions sent in by listeners to either Twitter handle @BannedCast, or email: firstname.lastname@example.org. Visit bannedcast.com and read more about Tanner’s exploits and those of the band Lucky Boys Confusion in the book Medicine and Gasoline: On the Road in America with Lucky Boys Confusion.
After several weeks of technical difficulties, Tea with Tanner is now recording again, and we’re working hard to bring you the latest in Tanner’s seething diatribes about how the world yet refuses to conform to his expectations!
Consummate professional Juke Joint Jezebel did her best to paper the city with Say Anything Flyers today! Calls are coming in, and BannedCast hopes to have a new Say Anything episode out this Monday! Because we love you, scabies and all.
Look, it’s just a simple fact: I drive much better after slamming a fifth of Jack Daniels.
No, I’m not superman. I just have a very high tolerance for alcohol that will undoubtedly impress all of you lightweight pussies who like to call it quits after finishing a mere 13 ½ beers or half a bottle of Smirnoff. I’m not trying to say that you all are limp-dicked ass-eaters or anything, it’s just that I am still perfectly capable of operating a motor vehicle after polishing off a fifth of Jack as part of my at-home, pre-party Friday night regimen.
This is a talent that I have built up over time, and so I don’t want you to think that this is something that I just up and decided to do one lazy afternoon while hanging around my one-bedroom apartment before work. This is something that requires a lot of time and practice, much like the dedication and patience required of a Kung-fu master to attain a black belt in martial arts. Except of course that rather than mastering an ancient martial art and its commensurate attainment of a transcendental union of both mind and body, I have mastered the ability to consume 750 milliliters of 80 proof bourbon whiskey with no discernible adverse impact upon my motor sensory skills, especially with regard to navigating heavy machinery through the streets of a heavily populated residential area.