Today’s topics: text message etiquette and how to play fair. If you have suggestions for topics, tweet them to @bannedcast, email us at bannedcast@yahoo.com and you may even call us at 650-741-1396. Visit bannedcast.com and read more about Tanner’s exploits and those of the band Lucky Boys Confusion in the book Medicine and Gasoline: On the Road in America with Lucky Boys Confusion.
You hear that? That’s the sound of one hand clapping, motherfucker!
I guess I’ve just proven another one of your theories wrong.
Correction: I’ve just proven two of your theories wrong!
Theory number one: I cannot clap with just one hand.
Theory number two: I cannot walk around for one whole day with my left hand Super Glued to my dick.
Because I just did, motherfucker, and thus I am providing myself a resounding round of applause with this, my one free hand.
Today’s topics: traffic lights, mother nature and Canadian geese. If you have suggestions for topics, tweet them to @bannedcast, email us at bannedcast@yahoo.com and you may even call us at 650-741-1396. Read more about Tanner’s exploits and those of the band Lucky Boys Confusion in Medicine and Gasoline: On the Road in America with Lucky Boys Confusion.
I belong to an exclusive club. 
This is an exclusive club of which you are probably not a member.
I understand that this sort of claim is kicked around with alarming frequency these days, but this club’s exclusivity is an undeniable reality. Sure, living American Presidents are often credited with possessing the most elite of memberships, but exclusivity alone isn’t the mark of a truly remarkable club. Consider those who may count themselves among the lucky many to have engaged in a late-night, cocaine-fueled double penetration session with Lindsay Lohan. That club may not be exclusive, but it is pretty prestigious.
That is why membership in my club should be recognized as possessing the qualities of both exclusivity and prestige that is the mark of a truly world-class membership. Because I am talking here about those who have spun the big wheel on The Price is Right.
That’s right, bitches—I am one of those, and you are probably not.
Now that I have completed my mandatory online sexual harassment training, I’m going to print out my certificate of completion and rub your body down with it.
That’s right. This training got me thinking about you, girl, and all the ways I’d like to sex you down.
Because you are just too fine for words.
You’re too fine for words, but I’m going to try nonetheless. Here are just a few that come to mind when I’m undressing you with my eyes:
Today’s topics: hygiene, australopithecine back-scratchers and the opinions of certain people named Adam. If you have suggestions for topics, tweet them to @bannedcast, email us at bannedcast@yahoo.com and now you may even call us at 650-741-1396. Read more about Tanner’s exploits and those of the band Lucky Boys Confusion in Medicine and Gasoline: On the Road in America with Lucky Boys Confusion.
Like to go to the movies? So do we, so we thought we’d review a nearby movie theater:
