To begin, a pitbull just seems like a very inefficient way to tell the world that earning a GED was too tall an order and that you consider Adam Sandler a consummate thesbian.
For example, you could instead rock an Affliction t-shirt and shotgun your creatine-and-Rockstar energy drink from behind the wheel of your yellow Chevy Camaro on your way to 24-Hour Fitness to high-five your dude-bros while powering through a monster set of leg crunches.
Or if that seems needlessly intricate, you might simply purchase any MMA pay-per-view package and refer to your girlfriend as your “old lady” before reminding your friends that you “smashed that pussy hard” the night before.
In other words, a dog is a lot of commitment. They’re not like those illegitimate children you no longer pay child support to—dogs need walks like three times a day and a rabies shot once a year.